Take Control


Dominique is looking at the camera wearing a black and white headwrap and black lipstick. She is in front of a black background. Only her shoulders up are visible.

This is a story about control. Word to Janet Jackson.

Do you ever feel like things spiral out of control, no matter how prepared you are? And just as you think you figured it out, something else goes off the rails?

You know what you want to happen but it just ain’t happening? Even when it comes to something that should be “simple”.

I get it. And luckily you can do something about it!

Feeling out of control happens when we fixate on things outside of our control. We focus on what we’re doing wrong, what could go wrong, and what did go wrong.

We focus on the wrong as opposed to what we’re doing well, what went according to plan, and most importantly, what we’re in control of.

We control our efforts, our actions, our thoughts….ourselves! We do not control other people.

I love going places but I hate traveling! Everything about getting somewhere stresses me out. I get so anxious that my stomach hurts and I feel nauseous for most of the day.

I already struggle with feeling like there’s never enough time. So if there was a way to suddenly be somewhere that didn’t involve the entire process of getting there, I’d be all in!

In the meantime, I know there are things I can do to make travel days less painful.

  • I can book evening flights so I have more time to relax before heading to the airport.
  • I can take the day off so I don’t get caught up at work.
  • I can make a detailed packing list.
  • I can set a “time to go” alarm so I don’t look at the clock all day.
  • I can set it for 10 minutes early so I don’t get behind doing last minute tasks before walking out the door.
  • And on particularly stressful days, I can leave earlier than that.

When you look at it like that, I am in control of A LOT! And so are you.

Starting with what’s causing you stress. Ask yourself, ”What do I control? What can I do about this?” Make those things a part of your process. As you get used to including these things in your process, look at what works and what doesn’t. Then keep tweaking.

When we focus on the things within our control, we remove the stress around it. Once the stress is gone, it’s easier to see what we’re doing well. What we’re good at. And how amazing we are just being ourselves.

If you need a reminder to take control, try using black! It’s empowering, it’s bold, and it’s a strong reminder that you have control over yourself and your life. 

Get the black color card and next week’s Self Love Check-In by checking your email or clicking here now!

How do you take control in your life? Let me know in the comments.

1 Comment
  • E. Wilson
    March 9, 2019

    I believe you are spot on reface the topic of control. We can easily find ourselves off track, by training to control others behavior or a situation we have no control over. When we truly understand our own span of control the days become a little less hectic. Allowing us to focus on what matters. This by no stretch of the imagination is an easy task. It takes self reflection, honesty with yourself, daily work, and the work to improve our understanding of our span of control is daily for LIFE!

    Great topic as always.

    Love Dad